IELTS MASTER | sample essay 51

sample essay 51

Discuss advantages and disadvantages of working from home.

Attempt 1: During these days, a major part of the population is preferring to work from home using several devices such as computers and mobile phones. Personally, I believe that where such trends have numerous pros associated with it, at the same time, some negative outcomes could also emerge from it. My subsequent crumb of writing will vividly elucidate my viewpoints.

To begin with, while working from home, people can save a certain amount of money that they have to spend on travel. During these days, when the inhabitants due to very busy lifestyle struggle to create a balance between their work and social lives. It provides an opportunity to them to spend their time with family members while earning the money at the same time. Besides, it lowers the risk of the human beings getting infected from the several diseases while roaming in the outside world and coming in contact of several people. For instance, because of global coronavirus pandemic, many of the governments encouraged their resident to work from home, it helped to prevent the spread of virus to some extent.




On the other hand, it has also been observed that working from home stops the mankind to interact with each other. Thus, it gives the birth to several mental illnesses such as depression, social isolation. Furthermore, it also affects the growth of businesses and creates the insecurities, misunderstandings among the customers and sellers. For example, to secure different business deals, in-person conversation is highly required which is not possible while communicating through web cameras.

In conclusion, although working from home has some negative outcomes associated with it, yet it proved to be a strong and effective alternative to work in the offices. More research is required to be done on this topic in response to eliminate the issues linked with it.

Feedback:
1. ‘During these days’ – it is an abrupt start to the essay
2. ‘where such trends have’ – while this trend has
3. ‘My’ – better to write the instead of my
4. ‘while working from home, people can save a certain amount of money that they have to spend on travel’ – since you have started with while, you should present two sides in the sentence
5. ‘During these days’ – avoid repetition of words and phrases
6. ‘when the inhabitants due to very’ – starting with when makes the sentence incomplete and incoherent
7. ‘money’ – repetition, you could write, earning their livelihood
8. ‘governments encouraged’ – governments have encouraged
9. ‘resident’ – residents
10. ‘the’ – no need to write the here
11. ‘depression, social isolation’ – depression and social isolation, also social isolation is not a disease
12. ‘is highly required’ – try to use better vocabulary, for example ‘is essential’, ‘is pivotal’, ‘is crucial’
13. ‘negative outcomes’ – repetition from the introduction
14. ‘it proved’ – it has proved

Band score – 6-6.5


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