Some people think the government should be responsible for solving the pollution problems which result from heavy traffic. To what extent do you agree?
Attempt 1: Government act as a strong pillars for there country and they are most responsible person to take action in each and every sector weather it’s monetary, related to environment or any kind of rules or regulation needs to be made.
I firmly believe that pollution is mostly the main problem is each and every corner of the world and its true without taking any action this is nearly impossible to control mainly traffic is becoming the most hazardous for everyone. As, each and every country is developing and at that same speed traffic is also booming up. This can only be controlled by the government of its own country by imposing certain rules and regulation on each and every citizen living over there.
There could be certain rules like carpooling, van pooling and limiting the number of cars in a family. Moreover, if 3 or 5 people are going to same workplace and they live nearby they can share ride with each other which will automatically impact in lesser traffic. This could only be possible if strict rules are applied and with some kind of penalty if anyone is over riding the rules. Whereas, it is important that each and every individual is cooperating with government officials and proper scanning is done by government peoples by visiting offices, work places and keeping check on number of cars in a family.
At last, I would conclude it by saying that its obvious that government is there to look up to and give solution to each and every crises country faces but at the same time its own individual responsibility to make their own country a better place to live in.
Feedback:
1. ‘pillars’ – pillar
2. ‘there’ – their not there, understand the difference between the two
3. ‘person’ – government is not a person
4. ‘it’s’ – never use contractions in IELTS writing always write full form, it is
5. Your introduction is incorrect. Watch our tutorial and learn how to make perfect introduction for this type of task. The link to the tutorial is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7Fk7yDpn4M
6. ‘its’ – it is not its, understand the difference between its and it’s
7. ‘without taking any action this is nearly impossible to control mainly traffic is becoming the most hazardous’ – the sentence structure is confusing and grammatically wrong, it is not making much sense
8. ‘each and every’ – avoid repetition of words and phrases, this will lower your score on lexical resources parameter
9. ‘van pooling’ – vanpooling, earlier you have written carpooling so keep it consistent
10. ‘impact in’ – result in lesser traffic
11. ‘applied’ – implemented or enforced not applied, you need to work on your vocabulary, it is very basic and wrongly used
12. ‘over riding the rules’ – violating the rules
13. ‘its’ – it is not its
Band score – 5.5