IELTS MASTER | IELTS Writing Test 104

IELTS Writing Test 104

Task 1: The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Task 2: Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Why might this be the case?

What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.


32 responses to “IELTS Writing Test 104”

  1. Debby says:

    The plans shows how Grange park has transformed over the years till date. The park has being a relaxation center for both children and adults.

    There are significantly physical changes at both entrance of the park. In 1920 the seat and rose garden on the left and right respectively has now been changed to cafe alone towards the right while the rose garden at the extreme left remains.
    The pond for water plants in 1920 has been changed to a children’s play area. Then at the Eldon street entrance, the seat and the glass house on the left and right in 1920 has been changed. There is a water feature on the right also an entrance to the underground car park.
    The new physical feature at the center today is the rose garden surrounded by seats which was formerly a fountain.
    Another important feature here is an amphitheater for concerts today which has to replace the stage for Musicians.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      In task 1 do not add anything from yourself and give any meaning for example ‘has being a relaxation centre for both children and adults’. Also this sentence is grammatically wrong. To need to make a better introduction which you can learn from our tutorial on task 1. Your sentence formation is grammatically wrong again, ‘there are significantly physical changes’ Significant changes can be seen when two maps are compared is correct formation. Feedback – work on your basic grammar to improve sentence formation and watch our tutorial whose links are given below.

      Task 1 – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIBUOHdFKII

      Task 1 Maps – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfv9IISl3QY

  2. MuzHus says:

    Task 2
    Why it is that self-employment is seen to be the preference of the majority of the workforce today as compared to working for a corporation or a company? In my opinion, I agree that majority of the people today prefer to be their own bosses rather than work for someone else. The advantages of self-employment are numerous ranging from an absolute decision making power with no one to overrule you to a bigger share of profits and having no stringent constraints regarding time, taking off from work and no pay rise ladder to climb. On the other hand, there are many downfalls of being responsible for a business, for starters you have to bear the responsibility of all mistakes made and profit losses hurt you the most. There is also the pressure of being responsible for those who work for you, together with keeping up with the competition and handling responsibility for mistakes legally and publically.

    Entrepreneurs are the new rulers of the economic world, from Google boasting richest man in the world as its founder to Facebook having made a massive climb in terms of profits and user expansion since its initial days; self-employed people are the main players dominating the economic market today. Hence it is not surprising that many people today want to own and run a business. Running a business means you are the main decision maker, you can drive the company forward according to your own ideas and principles with complete autonomy. The owner of the business gets the biggest share of the profits and your income has no upper limit, which is not the case when you are employed by another company as your salary is fixed. We see so many young millionaires today and almost all of them are entrepreneurs with very few if any, being employed by a corporation. Being your own boss also entails a sense of achievement and a self-motivation to work harder and be better at what you do. Bill Gates is an idol for many youngsters today, because he symbolizes a man who achieved success doing what he loved and became so wealthy that he can support causes and ideas he believes in, something deep down we all want to do.

    However, running a business can be very stressful as you are the person solely responsible for the major decision making and you will be the one blamed if there are any mistakes made. You will also be the one answerable to public, shareholders and your workforce if losses occur or product quality is compromised. Competing with competitors, upgrading your products and keeping up with demands of your consumers and workforce are few amongst the many struggles of owning a company. When Facebook was hacked and its user’s private information was stolen, Facebook’s owner had to publicly apologize and then deal with a legal battle to compensate those people whose information was stolen. Similarly when Samsung Notebook mobile phone was found to catch fire, the company’s owner had to shut the production of this model and take the phone off the market, this resulted in heavy losses for the company. The pressure of coming up with the latest technological advancements is a constant nightmare for the mobile phone companies, if one competitor releases a phone with a new feature that the public loves, the other manufacturers are forced to provide the same feature in their phones too. Like when Apple released phones with one button, other companies didn’t take long to include a single button in their latest phone models.

    In my experience of working for a hospital as a trainee doctor I found following orders to be a comfortable position to be in, as it took the heavy responsibility of cradling human life off of my shoulders. It also meant that I had freedom to make mistakes and there were more experienced people around to correct my mistakes before they caused harm to anyone, it allowed me to have confidence in myself and my abilities while also creating space for learning. The stable paycheck at the end of the month and not having to worry about the profits and losses of the hospital was also a welcome relief after my long shifts and tiring work schedule. On the other hand I found that despite my ability to help and their being options available, limitations of resources and hospital policies became hindrances I had to overcome to aid my patients. This made me feel frustrated and I wished I had been the main decision maker above the system, so that I did not have to navigate the maize of hierarchy to get simple things done, like getting approvals from insurance companies for expensive tests or use of trial drugs. Facing the fury of my seniors over simple mistakes, their favoritism towards other colleagues and having to tolerate their misdemeanor towards other just because they were having a bad day, were some of the things that made me dislike being in a subordinate position.

    In conclusion, Self-employment has enormous attractions for the people, like; being the central decision maker, higher earning margin, no upper limit to monthly income, having complete control over your time and schedule as well as having the freedom to drive the company according one’s own ideology and principles. Having job in contrast, provides the safety the monthly paycheck that is assured no matter how the company is doing, it allows taking responsibility of only your part of the job, and lastly it provides safety of shared responsibility for any errors made. Both have their charm, but what people choose is up to them.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      Your essay is too long no examiner will check it completely and it will marked incomplete. Essay should not be more than 320 words. Make it concise and submit again.

  3. Yami says:

    The diagrams illustrate how grange public park has been transformed from 1920 up to present day.

    Overall, despite significant adoptions in park such as amphitheater,cafe,children’s park,water feature and car parking, grange park has retained some basic elements like seats,rose garden and entrance.

    When park was first opened,there were fountain in the centre of the park. Now it is replaced with rose garden and seats all around it. Stage for musicians was replaced with amphitheater which is used for concerts. In addition,glasshouse which was right of eldon street entrance also removed and new water feature is installed on that place.

    The public park has also added some new facilities. The grange park has constructed cafe so that people can sit in the park and enjoy their coffee. In addition, park area specially for children has been constructed on right corner of arnold avenue entrance. The one more important facility that has been added over the year is underground car park. When the park opened, there was no any parking facility. But now people can park their car under the grange park and enter from the roght hand side of eldon street.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      ‘there were fountain’ there was not were. ‘eldon street entrance also removed’ was also removed. ‘installed on that place’ in that place. ‘The grange park has constructed cafe’ it is wrong way to write because park did not construct anything, instead you should write a cafe has been established in the park so that. ‘The one more’ the is redundant here. ‘was no any parking facility’ any is redundant here. ‘their car’ their cars not car. ‘roght’ you mean right.

  4. Temitope Damola says:

    The diagrams illustrates recent Grange park and the old Grange park of 1920.
    It is clear that more infracstrures have been built in the Grande park of today such as; café, Amphitheater for concerts and children’s play area.
    In the year 1920, there was a fountain at the center of the park which has been replaced with a rose garden. The stage for musician by the side of the fountain has also been replaced by an amphitheater. In the Grande park of today, the 3 rose garden has been reduced to 2, glass house and pond for water have been removed. There is also an entrance for underground carpark, café water feature and children play area in the recent Grande park.
    Moreover, there are certain features that are present in the old and new Grande park. Features like; The two entrances of an old avenue and Eldon street and the location of the rose garden close to Arnold avenue.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      You need start with a better introduction. You have written in a very informal manner. There should be two paragraphs after overall, one for 1920 structure and one for present. Your basics of English are in place with no grammatical mistakes which is good and you can easily good bands in writing if you learn to in better structure and bring variety in your sentence structure. Please watch our tutorials on task 1 and task 1 map, links are given below:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfv9IISl3QY

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIBUOHdFKII

  5. Temitope Damola says:

    Good day sir, I uploaded task 2 answer, I’m not seeing it here

  6. Saddam says:

    Two schemes provide information about the Grange park in 1920 and its alterations over time. Overall, the park changed its logistic and started to offer people more possibilities than they used to have decades ago such as a cafe and a parking.

    The most significant alterations are a transformation of the stage for musicians into the amphitheatre for concepts and a displacement of seats, which in 1920 were around the stage, in the centre of the park. What is more, the pond for water was removed in the right bottom part of the scheme and turned into the water feature. The children’s play area was introduced in right top of the park, and near this zone the cafe was constructed. The quantity of rose gardens was reduced to two. Besides, an underground car park was built in the lower right corner of the park.

    As for things which were not changed during the time, it is worth to mentioned two entrances which are situated in top and bottom sides of the park near the central rose garden.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      ‘What is more,’ instead write phrases like in addition or moreover. not ‘the cafe’ a cafe. ‘to mentioned’ it should be to mention, with to always first form of verb is used. Situated at the not in the. Overall it is a very good attempt. You have a good writing style which is concise and can get you good bands in writing if you can avoid small grammatical mistakes.

  7. bhargav reddy says:

    Self-employment means working independently, instead of working for an organization. This is gaining popularity in today’s workforce because of too many factors. This essay will discuss why people are choosing this, and what negatives does it impose, over working for a company.
    Some people cannot stand taking orders from others and this kind of people are better off working alone. Because of these people, this self-employment or freelancing concept came in to existence. People also prefer this, because they can work in their pace and also can choose when to work, instead of the conventional 9 am to 5 pm work hours. This method of working is also opted by those who cannot take the pressure imposed on them, in a corporate workplace.
    Though this method feel more flexible, there are too many disadvantages in choosing this. For instance, by working freelance, one does not get incentives like house rent allowances, free medical and life insurance covers etc., Many companies offer their employees on-sight opportunities (chance to work in foreign countries). By working in a team, people get to learn organizational skills, which will help them grow in the future. There is a probability to move up the hierarchy when working for an organization given one has that potential. Self-employed does not get to experience all these benefits.
    In a nutshell, though working self, instead of working for someone provide certain benefits, more often than not, this group tend to miss out on many more perks offered by companies for their employees. In my opinion, one has to work in an organization, at least in the initial days of their career, to get to know the industry well and to succeed in their career.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      Good start with a complete introduction which covers all the basics. ‘concept came in to existence.’ into. ‘they can work in their pace’ at their pace. ‘this method feel more’ feels more. ‘In a nutshell’ avoid this phrase some examiners consider it informal. ‘working self’ not working self but used better word like being an entrepreneur. ‘one has to work in an organization, at least in the initial days of their career’ in the beginning you have said one has to work and at the end their career it is a mismatch between singular and plural it should be her career.

  8. KULDEEP Singh says:

    Tooo good sir I got so many ideas and I understood my errors have u writing task pdf overall I give u 10 band

  9. jazzzz says:

    Two given maps illustrate the changes that have taken place at Grange Park from 1920 till today.
    Overall, it can be seen that the park witnessed major changes over the period and some extra facilities are also added to the park.
    In 1920, Grange Park had two entrances- one on the southern part and other on the eastern park and entrances are still not changed. There was a fountain in the centre of a park now got replaced with a rose garden. Seats are placed around the rose garden. Two more rose gardens and seating arrangements were there on the north-west and south-west corner. However, a rose garden on the south-west corner got demolished. Rose garden towards the east of the north entrance goy replaced by café.
    Amphitheatre for concerts has been constructed on the place of the stage for musicians, which was on the west of the park. Pond for water plant got replaced by children’s play area. The water feature has constructed on the south-west corner. Now, the park has an entrance for an underground car park from the east side of the park.

    thank you!!!!!

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      ‘extra facilities are also added’ were added. ‘on the eastern park’ eastern part. ‘of a park now got replaced’ park which got replaced with a rose garden. ‘goy replaced’got.

  10. jazzzz says:

    It has been seen that, nowadays, more number of people prefer to start their own business instead of working for others. There is number of factors which are responsible for this phenomenon. In this essay, I intend to discuss the reasons behind this trend and the disadvantages of being self-employed.
    There are number of reasons that attract the people to start their own business. First, governmental aids encourage people to be self-employee. For instance, through make in India program government of India has started giving some financial back-up to people who want to start their own business. Also, banks are providing loan for this at very affordable interest rates. People can start their own business at very less investment. What is more, people have the power of the internet, through which they can expand their business globally. Finally, some people do not want to be abiding by the rules set by others. Sometimes, people also start their own business so they can work according to their time.
    Though a self-employee person has number of advantages, it also brings some disadvantages. To begin with, self-employed people do not have job security. They have to work constantly to maintain their position in the market. In addition, they have to make all the initial investment by themselves. Self-employed people are responsible for the success and failure of their business. In the case of business failure, they have to pay salaries to other employees from their pocket.
    To sum up, there are number of reasons which attract people to be self-employed. However, being self-employed comes with many difficulties, responsibilities and stress.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      ‘to be self-employee’ to be self-employed. Your basic English is good very few grammatical mistakes but you need to work on better vocabulary. you use simple yet correct English this will get you not more than 6.5 bands in writing.

      • kashif says:

        the diagrams demonstrate the traits of park when it was newly opened in 1920 and at the present.
        in 1920 fountain was present in the centre and towards its left there was a stage for muscians situated, but now these things have replaced by rose garden and amphitheatre respectively. although arnold avenue entrance in past and at present is same but towards its right side rose garden has changed with cafe.
        similarly,eldon street entrance reamins as it is but features towards it left and right have altered.in the past at the right side only glasshouse was present but now water feature and as well as entrance for underground car park is present. on the other side,in 1920 seats with rose garden were placed but at present there is nothing.
        in overview,at present some new characteristics has introduced by replacing few things. like underground car park,childrens play area and also theatre.

        • IELTS MASTER says:

          ‘the diagrams demonstrate the traits of park’ traits is generally used with persons so better to write the facilities in the park. ‘at the present.’ the should not come here. ‘a stage for muscians situated’ right way to write is a stage was situated for the musicians. ‘have replaced by rose garden’ have been replaced. ‘reamins as it is’ remains spelling mistake, and as it was not is. You need to bring variety in your sentence structure because these are repetitive and will not get you high bands in writing. Please watch our tutorial on how to attempt map in task 1, the link is given below:

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfv9IISl3QY

  11. Bob says:

    In the modern era, with the ever-advancing technology, many people feel comfortable to work on their own business. The growing opportunities in every field, nowadays, tend people to follow their passion as opposed to the organization where they must follow the company’s policies and rules. The following paragraphs discuss the reasons for this change and disadvantages.
    To begin with, the government of developing and developed countries is providing plenty of new opportunities in terms of business, funds, and loans to citizens recently to establish business. For instance, the government of india is strongly encouraging citizens who interested to do business in manufacturing industries by not only lowering the loan interest rates but also providing magnificent funds. These efforts would surely influence the people to earn more money speedily as compared to the companies where it may take several years to get the promotion.
    In addition, being self-employed would give enormous flexibility to people. For example, people can work either daytime or night whenever they wish without restriction. Also, there is no stress of the manager or boss. To put it simply, people have a greater degree of freedom about the time and the type of job. In contrast, the people, not only necessary to obey strict rules and regulations of the organizations but also must achieve certain goals in minimum amount of time. In short, these would make the company environment stressful to employees.
    Although self-employment exhibits many opportunities, it has several drawbacks to keep in mind. First, being self-employed, the people may not receive a monthly or bi-weekly salary, and therefore, it would be strenuous to manage living and other expenses if there is zero profit from own firm. Second, it definitely involves a higher amount of work that may require more efforts. For example, people may need to keep attention in multiple areas such as finance, production, marketing, and sales.
    To put it in a nutshell, although the self-employment provides the plethora of opportunities nowadays, the people should consider to join companies as well if they will get more wage than own business.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      ‘encouraging citizens who interested’ who are interested. ‘magnificent funds’ do not use the word magnificent with funds, magnificent means something special or very beautiful which funds cannot be write substantial funds. ‘In contrast, the people, not only necessary to obey strict’ for people it is not mandatory to obey strict rules, this is the correct way to write, your sentence formation is wrong. Please watch our tutorial on how to attempt task 2 and try to improve your attempt. The link to the tutorial is given below:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0_23FBCnMY

  12. Daniel says:

    Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization.
    Why might this be the case?
    What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

    An increasing number of people today are opted to start their own companies instead of working for the organizations. This is mainly because of the increased support to many young entrepreneurs, however there are some drawbacks of self-employment and this essay will explain for these issues.
    There are three main reasons that many people choose to become self-employment. Firstly, due to the requirement of high academic qualification to achieve the higher income, the entrepreneurship is popular among many people. For instance, self-employment basically depend on the individual’s creativity, concentration and desire for success, it does not measure the qualification by the certificates. Secondly, desire to get more money is another reason. The average worker can earn a stable salary every month, but for the entrepreneurs, they can be rich in one night and all the profits will directly go to them. Finally, they can have more job satisfaction such as they can manage their own time without following the routine schedule from the organization and there is no peer pressure from the boss and supervisor.
    However, there are some possible drawbacks. Firstly, it is very vulnerable and higher risks of economical failure, since it is self-employment it may fail at any time. Secondly, there are no incentives and entitlements which can get if working under organizations such as sick pay, holiday pay and bonuses. Lastly, to establish your own business need huge amount of funding. This does not guarantee the success, and this is a big gambling for their life.
    In summary, starting own business is trending nowadays and it has own reasons. Even though there are some negative points, I believe that advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

    • IELTS MASTER says:

      ‘today are opted to start’ opting not opted. You need to write a better introduction please watch our tutorial on how to attempt task 2 and improve your overall introduction and structure. ‘choose to become self-employment’ self-employed. ‘self-employment basically depend’ depends not depend. ‘entitlements which can get’ which a person can get. The link to the tutorial is given below:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0_23FBCnMY

  13. Nelly says:

    Hello, please can you tell me why my comment didn’t show?

  14. Rohit says:

    Task2
    Entrepreneurship is the biggest trend in the professional world these days and a lot of people are opting for starting their own business venture rather than working for another employer. In my opinion, the most probable reason for this change in the mindset would be the long term financial gains and independence in decision making.
    Although there are many advantages of being an entrepreneur such as handling leadership positions, long-term profits, and the ability to make decisions, it is still not proven to be successful for the majority. The first major drawback of running a start-up is that the chances of failure are very high which leads to a situation of financial troubles and debts for an individual. For instance, numerous reports globally have confirmed that only 7-8% of start-ups could successfully reach break-even and started making profits. The majority of the new ventures are closed within 2 years of establishment.
    Another major adverse effect of being self-employed is high levels of stress which, in turn, directly impacts the personal life and health of an individual. In this highly competitive business environment, every business is trying to gain as much market share and improve their bottom line. Many successful business leaders and professors have pointed out that it requires double the effort for anyone who is trying to start a new business, which will be stressful, in comparison to working for an employer. For instance, a renowned marketing professional and author named Mr. Kotler, has clearly stated stress as the biggest side-effect of entrepreneurship.
    To sum up, possible high returns on investment and the authority of making a decision can be considered as primary reasons for the people who are moving away from jobs. While there are many other advantages of owning a business, impacts can be highly detrimental for an individual considering the level of stress and financial burden comes along with it.

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