Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think this is a good idea or a waste of time?
Attempt 1: Nowadays, many younger generation students believe gaining practical experience is important before joining to the universities. I strongly believe that this is a wise decision that would assist the students to obtain sufficient knowledge before the journey to higher studies. Although this approach benefits most of the students there are quite a few problems. I would be explaining some of them in this essay.
To begin with, students can learn from travel. By travelling to various places across the globe, they could learn and understand several lifestyle, cultures and traditions, which intern can be useful during their university studies. For instance, when a student joins in a college, he/she might accompany other students located from different parts of geography. The experience attained during the travel would help the students to get close connect with fellow students.
Furthermore, work experience could potentially help students to acquire sufficient funds for their college studies. It was widely known fact that university studies are expensive. Besides many of the parents consider, this is beyond the reach of their financial status and would not be in a position to support their children’s education. Additionally, students who are gaining work experience and earning money would realize the value of money. Finally, some colleges do offer extra credits for the professional experience.
On the other hand, it is argued that this idea is not only hazardous but also it can affect the students’ career. Some of the students may spend time leisurely and develops laziness. And in another case, due to the lack of knowledge or guidance, a few students get lost and they can’t move forward, which is a waste of time and energy.
To conclude, availing a gap before university education would potentially advantageous as long as the student makes the wiser decisions in making use of the time so that it boosts their chances of higher education, otherwise, this would spoil the career or student.
Feedback:
1. ‘joining to’ – to should not come here
2. ‘before the journey to higher studies’ – before commencing their higher studies
3. ‘them’ – these not them, them is used for people
4. ‘lifestyle’ – lifestyles, keep it consistent with cultures and traditions
5. ‘intern’ – in turn
6. ‘geography’ – world is a better word
7. ‘get close connect’ – to make strong connect with
8. ‘was widely’ – it is a widely
9. ‘develops’ – develop because you are talking about students which is plural
10. ‘can’t’ – cannot, do not use contractions
11. ‘would potentially advantageous´- could be potentially advantageous
12. ‘their’ – his or her, because you have mentioned student earlier which is singular
13. ‘or’- of not or
Band score – 6