IELTS MASTER | sample essay 12

sample essay 12

Some people believe that not all criminals should be kept in prison, but that some of them should be allowed to do unpaid work to help the community. Do you agree or disagree?

Managing criminals in the prison is one of the concerns for the government. It is often thought that prisoners should not be allowed outside the jail. However, others believe that some of them should be used to do get work done without pay to serve society. This essay will discuss why I completely agree that they should not leave prison.

Certainly, people who have committed crimes are kept in jail. So, allowing them to work in public places may increase the chances of escaping. Since prisoners had indulged themselves in malicious activities, they tend to look to escape. A recent study by Oxford University, for instance, allowed a group of convicts to work at government facilities, every week one of them tried to leave the place unnoticed. Therefore, it is better to not allow them to work outside the jail.

Another reason why I consider not using them for community work is that it will decrease the terror. As this will make them come out of the controlled environment, there will be a decline in the fear to commit a crime. Indeed, rules should be stricter. Because if laws are not strict, people will not be afraid. This action is loosening the punishment. Recently, in India, For example, the government reduced the strictness for wearing masks, which resulted in a huge rise in the COVID cases. Thus, stricter the rules, more fear in the criminals.

In conclusion, although many people consider allowing convicts in the community, I believe it should not be the case. Because it will lead to rising in chances for escaping and a decline in the fear among criminals.

1. ‘some of them’ – avoid using same words and phrases from the essay statement
2. Your introduction needs to be better. Watch our tutorial and learn how to make better introduction. The link to the tutorial is
3. ‘prisoners’ – avoid repetition of words and phrases this will hurt your score on lexical resources parameter
4. ‘Oxford University’ – the Oxford University
5. ‘will make them come out of the controlled environment, there will be a decline in the fear to commit a crime’ – the two parts of sentence are not jibing, in the first part instead of freedom talk about criminals being kept in prison
6. ‘Because if laws are not strict, people will not be afraid’ – avoid making such short and abrupt sentences in your writing
7. ‘For’ – for not For
8. ‘rising’ – rise not rising
9. The vocabulary used in the essay is very basic and needs a lot of improvement.

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